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Golf Widow

In the distant land of Ire, on a lone and misty coast lives the Golf Widow. She shuffles and mumbles her way through the dreary hours, and few dare to cross her dark path. Each year, at the time of the Spring Equinox, the Golf Widow can be seen doing a celebratory dance on the misty shores of Ire.

Many years ago, the Golf Widow was not a widow at all. She was a young and beautiful bride. She would tend to her marvelous and magical garden, growing things that no others on the island could possibly grow. These delicious treats she would hand-deliver to friends and strangers alike, never asking for anything in exchange.

One day her young, bright husband returned home from tending his fields with a large and rather precarious bag hanging over one shoulder. The bag was filled with sticks made of wood and his pockets were spilling over with tiny white balls and little dirty pin-like trinkets. The young woman asked about her husband’s mysterious treasures, but he would not answer. He nodded only, and disappeared from her sight. Later that evening he returned with a joyful countenance, and would not speak of his adventures.

The woman known as the Golf Widow, endured this behavior for many years. She lost interest in her little garden, and often sat on the front porch of her small but charming home wondering what happened to the young, hard-working man she had married. A thought buzzed around in the darkest corner of her mind – a thought so distant and disturbing that the young woman barely recognized it as her own.

Over time, her husband carried only the large bag, ceased working all together, and rarely returned to their small abode. Over the course of many years she began to recognize a pattern: He lived with her and ate the meals she prepared in the darkness of the winters, but always his mind was turned to Springtime. As the woman grew heavy with age and envy, she began to look toward Spring as an evil and worrisome time that would take her husband away from her.

Finally, after enduring years of his absences, she did away with him using one of his own golf clubs.

And that is the story of the Golf Widow; to this day she can be seen dancing and barking at the moon as Spring arrives – a happy and complete woman.



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